Monday, November 26, 2007

TRUE ME GUIDELINES and NEW REVOLUTIONARY TREATMENT .....


I do not like to be ill. At least that is what my brain tells me, but the psycho brigade, who have never seen ME, say I enjoy being one of the participants of the superglue contest and I have a very big chance of becoming Mr SUPERGLUE himself.

Actually, that’s not strictly accurate. I do like living in bed, no one to talk to, no tying up my laces or getting my running shoes dirty and having to clean them afterwards.......

No swimming as I am not very good at that anyway and no GP-ing as well, lets face it, that is just as boring as hell. All those patients who come to see you, talk to you, you solve their problems, and who in his right frame of mind would want that.

I GET lovely emails from people who have been to see their GP with ME to be told they are NUTS, the only thing I don’t understand from those emails is if the GP is talking about the patient or themselves.

Just a minority detail I agree.

And then there is the thing of reading Mr Clarkson’s hilarious articles about driving cars and testing them to the limit. Now I am a petrolhead and I know that is silly, probably one of the reasons why those little buggers got in my system as the white bloodcells couldn’t find them in the petrol that is running through my veins.

And there are quite a number of NICE cars out there, some I would actually like to drive, sorry, I hate driving cars, I prefer lying in bed so I don’t waste any petrol.

Yes, that must be it.

No wasting of petrol, no wasting of energy while out running, no getting wet from running in the rain and no sweaty shirts. Yes, that must be really it.

Now to come back to being ill with this suggestion by my GP who didn’t know how to spell ME either, it’s never happened before that I was ill.

And so far I have come to realise that it is the greatest invention on GOD’s planet.

I don’t have to count my money anymore, as I know there is none, I don’t have to think, will I go out for a meal, a rum, or will I visit some friends.

Quite a lot of the last have done a runner as this suggestion by the Magic wand brigade that we want to be ill is so contagious that you can even get it from reading about this disease on the internet.

I have double checked with Mr McAfee and his boys and they have no protection against this Ying and Yang virus or wriggly wurm either. And it is driving them insane.

Now as a GP I could earn a bob or two and drive the car I want, and the thing is, it is actually there for the taking if I would work, and so.

I might even go to see fast racing cars drinking in circles but maybe I am ill because this circle business is just ludicrous.

A bit like watching football. On the one side you try to kick the ball in the net yet on the other side if you do the same you are the greatest idiot on this planet.

And the same thing has happened with this disease, if it had done a runner and would have bypassed me I would still be fine.

Yet now I am …………

Now we all know that the Institute to cut budgets and make sure that people with diseases don’t GET the treatment they need, is being taken to court to learn how to use the internet.

The trouble is, they don’t have a server and a router and WLAN and so in the NHS. They have tried using pigeons, but these lazy birds have said, GET off my back you lot so it is logical that the GOBSART boys have only used what the magic wand brigade from professor Albus Potter and his friends have called evidence.

Last week I did a little experiment the magic wand way.

It is so simple, you see, everybody who emails me has ME.

So the conclusion from my evidence based trial is so simple, it is breathtaking and it will win me the Magic wand Prize of CBT-ness and a GET medal from the NHS.

You see, my trial has shown that everybody who can email has got ME so if you don’t know how to email you are FINE.

Just PACE yourself and all will be well.

So, all of you out there, you can do these GOBSART and magic wand trials as well. There is really nothing to it.

Peer reviewing is done by yourself, just like the editing, and publishing is just a matter of asking your friends to look left and rub their other eye.

It is that simple.

And then we have all the evidence that if you can email you have ME. I repeat the same trial over and over again, speak to doctors and reporters and tell them that it doesn’t matter anymore in modern day if you have a mental health problem or a physical illness.

If you need heart surgery we will ask the psychiatrist to do it and if you need lets say a new hip I am sure that the gynaecologist can do that when he is doing a smear, even if you are a bloke.

It is that simple.

So and now before we take the GOBSART fellows out for a day in the park, let me tell you about a simple and effective ME Guideline that one of the Dr Speedy supporters, that is to support me from needing to see a CBT gynaecologist that is, has send me.

It is that easy and that simple that you only need half an A4, so a small Audi, the new one that I can’t drive or go and see. And you can bin the one hundred plus document from the GOBBLERS that has got all the words muddles up.

1. Treat patients with respect and dignity.
2. Read new reseach findings and apply them.
3. Understand that you cannot homogenise people.
4. Employ new drug/treatment applications as (and when) they are proven to help.

>>>>> CLICK HERE TO READ MORE about TRUE …….

That is all for now, good day and good mental health, and stay away from the magic wanders. And the same applies to any other therapy that is basically the same. If it cures you great but if by standing in the streaming rain with a nickel in your hand while waiting for Thor, the GOD of Thunder; to kick against something so we will see some light, you loose your suggestibily, than whoever diagnosed it was just as wrong as the magic wand brigade and their GOBSART loving friends about ME. And if we would have gotten the diagnosis right to begin with, you might have been better a long long time ago...........

Just a minute little detail, I fully agree.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have tried this therapy and my ME is gone, thank you Dr Speedy..

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness, were do you get the inspiration from ?

Anonymous said...

Hi Dr Speedy, thank you for bringing up TRUE :)

Thought I'd give you this link to the wonders of our nation and some of the comments that end up on the "Have Your Say" bit of the BBC news website. It's tea splutteringly amusing

http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/

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