MASTER OF ESPIONAGE 001/7 COME IN PLEASE

As it was Saturday when I started to write this one, double oo one seven, 001/7, our master blaster of espionage, has started his day with his usual Earl Grey.

And he has told ME, the advantage of ME, the so called primairy gains, are that he can now have his customary Earl Grey, shaken, not stirred that is, in the morning with breakfast.

And with a Vodka Martini that is very difficult indeed. He tried that once, when he had met a very very NICE lady indeed.

The trouble was, after a few Vodka Martini's before TEN in the morning, he wanted to kiss the TOP DOG and his DOGINA, instead of his lovely girl for the day.

And since then, they are trying to sue him for harassment.

You see, NO ONE with ME has ever tried to kiss them before.

As a matter of fact, no one wants to kiss them at all. And even CBT doesn't help.

And that is a very strange phenomenon for a CBT addict, who even uses it to fertilise his garden. To help his son with his Maths, as he himself failed this test, which he blames on the fact that CBT didn't exist in those days. Or if it did, his parents hated it.

And Mr Freud, you know the all knowing psycho boss, from every problem is caused by a sexual disfunction, fully agrees with his adagio, that the patients KNOW NOTHING, and the psycho whatevers, are master of the UNIVERSE.

And they are right, well at least in their own delusional minds. And of course in those of their lovely dovely friends at the GOBSART Institue of Excellence and at the ALLIED HEADQUARTERS of the NHS and number ten. Yes, that little council house in Downing Street.

You see, Mr Brown had other ideas than that Blue, Black or Blair chappie, whatever his name was. But these days Brown is the preferred color in the streets near the Thames.

And on one of those days, 001/7, on his way home, walked into this Brown chappie.

No other 007's insight, or Big Muscular blokes, not even delusionists who were plugging their CBT-ism, as if it was the latest song by the COLLUSIONISTS.

With the TOP DOG as their lead sanger, in an attempt to beat Paul McCartney and his Liverpool boys to the top of the chart.

Please don't tell the TOP DOG that this long hair styling statement has been outdated since MS was renamed into hysteria. Sorry, hysteria was renamed into MS.

That bloke with the BRAINFOG was calling ME names again, and I mix things up really badly if he does so. Silly ME.

I told you about this TOP SECRET 001/7 project, that is so amazing, that THE ONE CLICK group doesn't have to take NICE and his FRIENDS to COURT anymore.

The reason why they are doing that is so simple. A bit like the ME guidelines by the GOBSART boys. That is so simple, they actually managed to GET half a page right out of one hundred and thirty or so. An amazing achievement if you think about it.

It is a bit like ALL THOSE ARTICLES from the TOP DOG and his DOGINA. About one in every few thousand, has half a page of a few sensibles things. Like the date, and his own name and so.

REALLY CLEVER stuff if you have studied so long. Well, you have spend so much time away from mum and dad that is, in the case of the TOP DOG and his DOGINA. I am told that she, the DOGINA that is, is neither a psychiarist nor a psychologist, nor a neurologist nor anything else for that matter.

Really clever that she calls herself the wow factor at the KINGDOM.

Only if you are a DELUSIONIST, who suffers from a bad case of CBT-itis, which has been diagnosed by a COLLUSIONAL DOCTOR, can you become a professor in NOTHINGNESS.

Gobsmacking tastic. And we pay her a SHEDLOAD of money to keep this non existent knowledge up to date. As Mr Clarkson would say, you must be NUTS.

Interestingly enough, many GP's in the UK have now changed the name of NICE into NUTS. And no, it wasn't ME.

You see, they can't GET UTI's (Urinary Tract Infections in kids) right, they have problems with head injuries, breast cancer, ME, Alzheimer, or is that their own problem???

I wonder, do doctors think that is a PRESTIGIOUS DISEASE as well, just like a BRAIN TUMOR and leukaemia???

And if you think I have made this up, you are very wrong indeed. Just click on PRESTIGIOUS DISEASES a few lines up and you can read this NORWEGIAN study.

And don't think they are different in Norway, as there are many doctors who have NO IDEA what being ill entails.

And this was just illustrated by someone who has been telling ME that I should work out in the gym. Otherwise I will loose my stamina.

His own idea of working out for himself, is jumping in the car and buying a NEW shirt or so. But I should work out. He knows, he tells ME in the same sentence, that I used to run marathons etc, but NOW my running gene has been deleted or so by this SUGGESTIBILITY virus.

If I were you, I would update my virus scanner, you never know, might protect you.

Someone else told ME, I used to love running. And I must say, I still find that so cute and adorable. Yes, it is very hard to imagine that the running shoes, the white ones with the blue and green, or the white ones with the black stripes etc are actually mine.

But I would still love to go for a run, and run away from all this silliness.

The trouble is, I am lucky that I can at least walk to the toilet.

But you can manage a BLOG. Well yes, I can write one a day at present, if I am lucky, and that is ME for the day. No more power in my arms, clumsiness at dinner time etc. Or this one actually took me three days.

But still, this is really great, as last year I could not even look at a computer screen, let alone write a BLOG.

And that is why this double 00 one seven, 001/7, project is so gobsmashing tastic.

You see, finally we have found a way, and a medium to tell the world what ME is like. But in a very positive way. So we don't do it the CBT or TOP DOG's way.

Which was VERY DIFFICULT indeed, as there is absolutely NOTHING NICE at all about this suggestibility, in combination with exercise phobia, if you suffer from this malingering sort of diet.

Even more so if you tend to feign your problems, sorry you tend to feign that you don't want to work, that you prefer to be bedbound 24/7. And I must say, these DELUSIONISTS are absolutely right.

Who in his right frame of mind would want to have a normal life??

You must be NUTS.

You would miss out on all these holidays in bed, all those compliments and other nice conversations at work and with patients, all that running and swimming or whatever sports you like. All those great stuff you can buy, if you had some money that is.

Not to mention doing normal stuff with the family. Why on earth would you want a family and then do things with them?? You must be delusional if that is your idea of a great life. Or am I missing something here??? Just like those DELUSIONAL COLLUSIONISTS????

Yeah, why would we want to be well, and shed our malingering, if we can have such a NICE life lying down 24/7????

But you are right, 001/7 is coming to our rescue, and he has found a few old friends in the service, who wanted to help out with some great publicity stunts. Really amazing stuff.

You see, this friend of 001/7, has been telling his bosses that his machnery is NOT WORKING WELL.

And as good bosses do, bit like doctors, they didn't believe him.

They just had a few lessions from the TOP DOG, who advises the MOD about anything from dogs and their whatever they do in the evenings to helicopters and war regions, you know the Ministry of Defence, so they decided this friend of 001/7 was NUTS.

But as you can see, he wasn't. However, he was a smart fellow and he told 001/7 to be there with a camera, so we could use it in our ME awareness campaign.

001/7 told me, when he showed me the video, it should be shaken, not stirred, and here you see why.

Thanks guys from the RAF and all 001/7's other friends, for helping us out.

Because with these sort of very expensive promotional commercials, the politicians have to sit up and take note. Just have a look yourself and see what you think.

I bet the next time you go for a swim, you will think about ME and ME. And that is what this commercial is all about. Watch and watch and be amazed.

Where would we be without 001/7 and all his friends???