SAD, BAD and ME WARNINGS

We’re told that NICE might be under attack from more than one source.

Apparently, it’s got something to do with the psychologists, who have, in a complex way, affected ME patients in a big way as set out by their friends from the CBT MAGIC KINGDOM.

But suddenly they have started to think again and even though millions of pounds are flowing in their direction, they have now started to dispute the usefullness of CBT and GET in ME and want to use it at their own discretion, meaning only if you would need it as a patient.

So it is not only the One Click Pressure group, as that sick, sad and mad columnist in the paper called them, is seeing some sense.

Good. Because this will give NICE something to do.

And maybe it will get them back at the drawing boards, instead of sitting around all day or being out playing golf with lovely dovely good old chappies who like Cute Bikinis and Topless ladies to have a NICE day out for peer group binding instead of peer reviewing.

Already, in this period of NICE-ness, they’ve come up with utterly useless guidelines on many other subjects and so many GP’s have started to put the guidelines under their desks if one leg is shorter than the other.

Now most of the all knowing doctors won’t admit this but it is true. No doctor reads those guidelines so it doesn’t matter how much crap they write.

You see, the ME guidelines came in EIGHT different flavours or so. A summary and a summary of the summary and then a summary for patients of the summary and then a summary of the patients one for healthcare professionals and then blah blah blah.

No wonder the good old Daily Mail went on strike a few weeks ago as they did not want to deliver a tree to every doctor in the country who would then not read it, let alone touch it.

Now, the first time I came to the UK to do a locum I thought that it was very NICE and cool to call your postal services the Daily Mail.

It was only when they said I had to buy them that I started te realise that this daily business was a tabloid without a girl in her full glory so to speak on page 93.3

I was a bit annoyed when they said it was actually the Royal Mail, but in their kindness, so before I could say everything is better down here in Oz, they said they will deliver your mail as well as you are such a NICE bloke.

And then there was this silly billy woman GP in the paper who actually liked the ME guideline, well, if you read her report you quickly realise that she was a typical doctor, you know the sort, no knowledge of ME at all.

Reminded me a bit about NICE and their friends who are not home, 001/7, you know our master of espionage with ME, has assured ME that they are out in a town up North in England, having a party on the beach to see if their CBT is succesful and they will catch b..bs and topless ladies.

The trouble is, just look at the picture, they can’t diagnose ME, and they certainly can’t find a beach either.

I mean, anybody in the UK who is out in his swimming costume right now, let alone without parts of it and is on the beach, must be ripe for emergency CBT and GET.

The last to get a bit of heat in the system.

But soon, after this One Click Trial, this form of CBT, together with the other one from the guys from the magical wands, will be illegal.

The latest wheeze comes from the CBT blokeys who are concerned that they haven’t released a new article in the last few days yet. Top of the POPS is on red alert and even MTV has put their program on hold till a new and exiting one will be released so we can all go to court and sing with our beloved friends the latest tune that we love so much that some people at the GOBSART Institute want to turn that into the new National British Anthem.

And over half of the doctors interviewed in a recent survey still said they have no clue what ME is , let alone that they could make any sense out of the GOBSART ME guidelines, and these were docs that got a week off to study the report, but they got so bored with looking at a report that ignored all medical evidence and other state of the art stuff, that many were saying it was like going to war as a Knight in shining armour, because you didn’t look around you to see that we actually have tanks, guns and other modern stuff.

So instead of reading the guidelines these docs were off to CBT Wonderland for a week of GET and other fun stuff they have to offer anybody who is daft enough to wlan through the door.

But this isn’t to bad if you are healthy and don’t mention ME, because then all hell breaks loose.

Because, and I want to make this absolutely clear, your idea of a good time and a nice run or so, is very far removed from any CBT blokey who are afraid that exercise might ruin their CBT plans, so they invented the exercise phobia theory.

You see, if they project their own problems on us, and use a bit of CBT gravy all doctors will thinks that we are lazy buggers who thought, uhum nice this ME, lets have a double dose before it is sold out.

You may have noticed these days that every single CBT article the BLOKEYS publish is exactly the same.

Two years ago they said ME and ME and ME equals nothing. Weeks later they changed that into Malingering, and even if you scrabble like there is no tomorrow, ME and Me and Me will never make malingering, but if you have failed your literacy and your maths tests in school there is no way you will notice this minute detail.

And for months they said the same and he same and the same and this goes on till we all believe it.

Even people who were fit and well and so before ME took over started to think, I didn’t like running, I didn’t like the game of Federer or Nadal, I didn’t like Christiano Ronaldo if he puts his turbo on, I didn’t like going out for a meal or a night out with friends or so.

That lying in bed thing is so much better that well, who would want something else.

And then that Lightning thing struck again, together with Mr Nickel and Dime and his Magic wand friends who sell the same thing under a different name, and a doc with a sad and mad brain started to talk as if she never learned anything in med school.

No really, even if you can’t read better than a six xear old you will know that using GOOGLE and searching the internet is a requirement these days.

In the past I would spend a whole afternoon looking for an article in the library and I was lucky if I found it and the librarian would be able to get hold of the magazine with the article in a week or three, four maybe.

Now you click, click and click, even my arms and my brain can now do it, and hoopla there you have the canadian, the south australian and psychiatric guideline all in one click.

You see, just go to SACFS, Australian obviously, sorry folks, and the whole wide ME world is at your feet.

I will put all these brilliant guidelines on ME BLOG another time.

Power is zapping out of my arms and my brains is going into Chernobyl mode.

Oh, and thanks again Mr Clarkson for your help on a drooling, sorry drooly Sunday.

Oh, and I almost forgot, if you want to have a bit of fun at the end of this Sunday then just click on JEREMY'S PICTURE

and you will be AMAZED........