Professor CBT leading the way in ...

Now as someone kindly pointed out, PWME are not allowed to be blood donors but the GOBSART ACADEMY OF Ignoring CLINICAL Evidence didn't mention this in their manuscript for stand up comedians that would have never passed any sort of scrutiny but that is just a minority detail.

It is like forgetting to mention that the WHO has classified ME for decades as a NEUROLOGICAL illness or forgetting to use the CANADIAN Guidelines and the Psychiatric ME Guidelines by Dr Stein. If you use them or mention those simple things you will give the impression that ME is a serious neurological illness and that wasn't the whole idea of the excercise.

You see, a bit of silly billy therapy that would send my tomatoes running is a lot easier and cheaper and besides it keeps your friends at the MAGIC CBT KINGDOM at work.

They were so desperate for their ELEVEN MILLION and some that they urged the GOBSART fellows not to use their brain, the internet or read any medical evidence, let alone listen to the PWME or the WHO.

Would have been silly. Now when I was researching and so I suddenly came across the most amazing piece of research that actually has taken a leaf out of the GOBSART BOOKLET of Ignoring Evidence and has just copied the methods of Pofessor C.B.T. to the letter.

Amazing really, just read and enjoy it if you haven't come across this magnificant piece of work. And yes, this is a BIKE that just needs some CBT..... to become legible for the Tour de France.

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!
6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

© Steve Parker....