Postnatal psychosis: 'I wanted to hurt my baby daughter'

It can plunge new mothers into despair, paranoia and terrifying delusions. Rachel Day describes how postnatal psychosis nearly tore her family apart

It's spring 2007. I'm walking towards the ocean near my home in Bournemouth. That's where my babies are and I want to join them there.

I want to stop and think about it but there isn't time – I know they're coming and I have to act now. The water's icy, but the shock makes me feel alive.

I can hear my Dad calling me and I run further into the water. Then my mum's there, she's shouting and I think she's going to hit me but she puts her arms around me.

We're both sobbing, but nothing needs to be said. I say, "Mum, I need my babies," and she says, "your babies are in the car."