EARL GREY PLEASE; SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED

I just opened my mail and I must say, I was a bit confused, well actually, very confused.

I always thought that these 00 guys would be operating undercover so that you and I had no idea what they were doing.

But if you look at this picture, I was very wrong. At least until BELINDA MESSENGER suddenly popped out of my laptop.

And I must say, I was still asleep, or dozing and trying to wake up that is.

Furthermore ME and the Mrs don’t go well together, I’m lazy, disgusting as you are with ME, an egoist as I have to escape NOISE, and don’t ask me what else she can come up with.

Interesting stuff. You would think she worked at the KINGDOM OF DELUSIONISTS.

So then to GET all this lovely attention from a young lady in interesting clothes was a bit of an eye opener.

No really, I can now understand why some people have a better RELATIONSHIP with their COMPUTER than with their partners.

Besides, when was the last time your PC had a headache???

So I asked BELINDA to run back to double 00 one seven, 001/7, and ask him what the hell he was on to.

Instead of being annoyed and embarrassed, he started to laugh and BELINDA liked his charm.

Even as Grey, Earl Grey, he apparently still gets his share of attention from the ladybirds.

I asked him about this picture with the cab, and he said, look, mister that is what is wrong with the ME community.

For once, only once, should you listen to the delusionists and take a leaf out of their book.

You see, they are very good at selling HOT STEAM FRIED BAKED AIR but at the same time call their opponents all sorts of names.

So what they do is simple. They go on the attack, put you on the defence and at the same time launch an amazing PR campaign.

Even a US presidential candidate doesn’t spend that much time, money and effort on such a campaign.

Worse, it is even paid for by the general public as all these DELUSIONISTS are actually paid for by the government, so that is you and ME.

So, the solution is very simple indeed.

We start to play their own game, and we are much better at it as we have passed our maths and literacy tests.

So if you look at this picture again, 001/7 said, you think it is ME, but obviously it isn’t. I’m no where near the place.

What kind of special agent would I be, if I advertised my whereabouts????

No, I’m advertising something else, something so amazing that you need to hold on to your chair, otherwise you will fall down.

Yes really. Even you, lying down 24/7 needs to hold onto something, ME for example, so we avoid ME meltdowns.

Because this is that hot, that special and that good. You better believe ME.

And with those words, BELINDA went off for her tea, and 001/7 went back to his business of espionage.

Leaving ME in tatters, what on earth was he talking about????