Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Professor Simon Wessely and his CBT logic ...



'The Truth About Penguins'

by Peter Kemp

I wanted to study the nature of penguins

The Canadian definition of penguins is that they are

flightless
they can swim
largest species up to 1.2m tall
they eat mostly fish
they lay 1 or 2 eggs
they generally live in colonies

the 'CDC' definition of these birds is that they are

flightless
they sometimes eat fish
they lay eggs
they can swim

the 'Oxford' definition is that these birds are:

flightless
they lay eggs

The 'Oxford' definition was chosen for the research as the others were too difficult to apply. 100 subjects who met the research criteria were studies in Sub-Saharan Africa.

The research found that penguins:

live in deserts
cannot swim
are up to 2.4m tall
weigh 200 pounds
capable of speeds up to 40mph on land
are mostly vegetarian

Conclusion

The research has discovered the truth about penguins. Those funny black and white birds waddling about the ice and swimming in the sea are making fools of everyone. They are not real penguins and should be excluded from further research into penguins
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4 comments:

  1. AnonymousDecember 17, 2009 at 5:09 AM

    So please could Prof Weasel tell us whether, in his la-la land of "Stick a-Somatoform-label-on-anything we don't-want-to-understand",(which lies somewhere between psychiatry and medicine), penguins are actually zebras or are they horses?

    When we have cleared that matter up, we may get some effective treatment for our devastating physical illness.

    Then again, we may get yet more of his fabled 'behaviourally focused interventions' that are very useful, but only when given to the penguins who live in Sub-Saharan Africa.

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  2. AnonymousDecember 18, 2009 at 1:17 PM

    Can the MRC PACE Trial be justified: Margaret Williams 17.12.09

    http://meagenda.wordpress.com/2009/12/18/can-the-mrc-pace-trial-be-justified-margaret-williams-17-12-09/

    ..."There can be no doubt that, for patients with ME/CFS as distinct from those suffering from chronic “fatigue”, neither CBT nor GET is effective, otherwise everyone would by now be cured"...

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousDecember 18, 2009 at 4:18 PM

    I just don't want to end up getting sectioned for insisting that penguins eat fish and aren't really old TV shows:S

    Neelu

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  4. The world according to LeahDecember 22, 2009 at 3:49 PM

    LOL
    That is the best definition of a penguin I have ever heard.
    Needed the laugh badly in the middle of a stressful Christmas preparation - that is... I need another 3 weeks to be able to get around to the fact it's christmas

    ReplyDelete