LIVE FROM LONDON: GHOSTS AND MAGIC WANDS

Our correspondent, LONDON correspondent that is, has been very busy lately, but I’m proudly presenting his next LETTER from LONDON.

Dear Doctor Speedy,

Following on from my last letter, here's what happened next.

No sooner had I said "Ok then, send in the clowns" when my GP says "Now then Mr Martin do you have any questions before I refer you to see the clowns with the magic wands?"

"Well funnily enough I do doctor. What do you mean when you say it's only available through the Church of England?"

"Oh that's easy to explain" said my GP. "In England we have three churches. The oldest church is the Roman Catholic Church who trace themselves all the way back to a chap from Bethlehem who was rather good at woodwork."

"Then we have the established Church of England who trace themselves all the way back to a fat bloke with a beard."

"Then we have the Church of CBT who trace themselves all the way back to a bloke who drank 56 bottles of Becks in one evening then wrote a psychological theory about how he felt"

"You must be joking doctor" I said "That beer is lethal; I can hardly remember my address after two bottles of it let alone 56"

He didn't look too pleased at my comment but was soon pleased to answer when I asked him how God fitted into all three churches.

"It's very simple" he said "each of the three churches believe in God, it's just they have a different relationship with him" "What do you mean" I asked intrigued.

"Well the Catholic church took a vote 2000 years ago and decided to believe in God and to never put it to the vote again"

"The established Church of England are a bit more liberal, they have a vote every year on whether to believe in God and each year the motion passes by 51% to 49% so in many ways they are quite religious really."

"The Church of CBT also believe in God it's just they don't think he's as powerful as they are. Apparently God is liable to negative thinking which is holding him back at work."

"Are you trying to make me laugh doctor" I asked

"No Mr Martin" he said "that is not my job. That task falls to the specially trained clowns with the magic wands who administer CBT"

"Can I just clarify something doctor" I asked "Why is the Church of CBT sometimes just called the Church of England by you. It would be easy to get confused."

"Lets not get bogged down in what we call things Mr Martin" he said "the main thing is you think you have ME and the clowns with the magic wands will make you better, probably in 6 sessions."

Now Doctor Speedy I don't understand what he meant by this next question so maybe you or some of your patients could help me. "Do you believe in ghosts Mr Martin," he asked.

"What sort of question is that doctor?" I replied shocked "Of course I don't. I am a rational man who believes in science."

"That's good Mr Martin" he said " "It's just that some people who live near the Church of CBT claim the church is haunted by the spirit of Sophia Mirza and Alison Hunter"

"I've never heard of either of them" I said.

"That's good Mr Martin" he replied "I'll write to the clowns immediately."

I'll write again soon Dr Speedy and let you know how session 1 goes,
your grateful patient,
John Martin

To talk about two of the many, who died from this suggestibility, sounds really harsh. At least that was my first reply.

If you think about all their suffering however, all because of these delusional collusionists who make sure that NO MONEY is spend on finding a cure or proper help and who are so bound up about satisfying themselves, and earning a shed load of money in the mean time, that it becomes clear very quickly, that they have forgotten the HIPPOCRATIC OATH, to the detriment of many patients.

And then you see that they are responsible for all our misery, well most of it. And they keep on doing it even though they have NO CLUE AT ALL what ME really is. You can even see that in one of their articles about ME.

In that one they have realised that they are the worst at diagnosing ME so they have asked the patients instead. They call it something like selfreporting of ME.

This would be a reasonable article if they then would VERIFY if these people actually had ME. This however is a contradictio impossibilo, as they don't even know how to spell a two letter word, let alone know what it entails.

That in a nutshell is delusional collusionism by the CBT KINGDOM.

So they have failed not only their MATH TEST, but also their LITERACY. NICE BUNCH OF DELUSIONISTS.

And if you think about that, than things suddenly sound very different indeed.

Even more so if you read the following comment from another TOP CBT BLOKEY,
Who said not to take ME too seriously; as you only died of suicide if you had ME, so what was the BIG fuss all about????