TALKY TALKY THERAPIES AND HOW YOU INVENT THEM

I wasn’t planning to do this post, I had something else in mind.

But then I changed my mind and you will shortly see why.

I was always taught that the S-word was wrong but sugar was fine. Mercedes has tried to give us the S-class but sugar still sounds better, and the same applies to the S-max.

I stick to sugar if you don’t mind Mr Ford.

We all know that we have the f-word as well. Well, I have never learned an alternative so I had to stick to sugar.

Or be polite and say thank you instead.

However, someone mailed me a different word and I like that very much.

We all know we have the worthless London, Oxford, RCPH and other ME criteria.

But the NICE’est are the ones by, is it Mr Fukuda or is that a place??

So when I saw a post on the BBC message board, I responded to it by writing:

“Dear speedyjohnmartin,

Your lesson will be discussed at the next board meeting of Denton CID. I have however suggested that they change the **** part in:

"Police Officer- "Why don't you fukuda off and stop wasting our time.""

And detective inspector Frost has assured me he will make sure this excellent lesson will be discussed.

He suggested to ask you to be a teacher and instructor on one of their next training sessions about dealing with psychiatrists and other mental health issues.

I hope that is okay."

The funny thing is, he responded by using the same word, and his posting wasn’t removed at all.

But anyway, I realise that the BBC webmaster is a webmaster, and hasn’t heard of all the worthless ME criteria.

And who can blame him. I hadn’t either until I was attacked by a group of suggestibility villains who used GET, CBT and exercise phobia to intimidate ME until I fell ill.

The funny thing is though if you look on the BBC message board, there is all sorts of interesting language, interesting posts advertising weird and wonderful therapies, and people who get offended if they say they had ME for many years and then someone points out that if they were cured in a day or so, by taking a cold shower three times a day for a week or a month, that they didn’t have ME, they get irate.

I would think, great I have my life back, but these people are angry because we take their disease away.

Now, if someone could take my ME away, they can wrap it, present it as the best present of all times in the KINGDOM or do whatever they want with it.

The other thing is, how on earth can you come up with cold shower therapy for ME??

If you are a scientist, or you say you are, this must be the moment that you think EUREKA, I get the Nobel prize for fantasy, or was it science???

And how on earth is a medical journal interested in publishing this utter nonsense, let alone how did it pass the editor???

Or was he playing golf with his GOBSART friends as well???

Do we live in a BIGGGG extra large GOBSART community or so???

This cold shower business is another example of someone who has never ever seen a patient with ME, let alone severe ME.

I can’t stand on my legs for five minutes because of the severe pain, a bit like someone is sticking a thousand knives in them and pulling my muscles apart at the same time, let alone tolerate the noise of a shower for that long.

I have tried E-414’s device to put the shower on MUTE but the device doesn’t work for showers yet.

I must say I got a very interesting email this moring from 001/7, you know our double oo one seven, our former 007 with ME.

Or I should say, from his boss, ICD-93,3. She is a lady as a matter of fact, they couldn’t call her M, as that is her counterpart at MI-6, and ICD-93,3 works for ME-6.

I always wondered about her name, I mean why not just plain ICD or 93, or boss.

But apparently the 93,3 is because it took her 93,3 months to be exact to shake her CBT virus back into the Thames, or wherever it belongs.

And the ICD bit stands for her name, she was born as Inge Carla Denise and her parents insisted on using ALL THREE names to the delight of her friends, her school and Inge Carla Denise herself.

How could they know that she would GET-ICD 93,3 LATER on in life???

Actually, now you mention it, her father was the great grandfather of Albus Dimblebee, who was the grandmaster of wizardy in the times that Albert Potter was still a seed in the ocean.

So he did have some magical wand visionary powers.

And if he would still be alive, he would be the man in charge of the kingdom created by ME and UHUM.

UHUM is a large insurance company, not to be mistaken by UNUM.

UHUM has the strange philosophy of helping their clients when they fall ill.

They are not master blasters of malingeritis, a very contagious disease, spread by mouth from psychiatrist to psychiatrist on a daily base.

They don’t want to make big profits, they just need to be able to make ends meet. And it actually works.

No silly lawsuits because people who are bedbound were deemed fit to go to work and than big lawsuits costing millions of pounds in payouts.

Because whatever you think of the Americans, they love their dollars, and who can BRAME them??

Oh, and if you want to take a cold shower, COLD SHOWER three times a day that is, I would seriously contemplate the lightning therapy as well.

This is a three day course, very intense, so again, they have no idea what ME really is like, of standing on the roof of your house, or any house for that matter, in a thunderous situation.

You carry a metal stick in your hand in the hope that lightning will strike and cure your ME.

I think by talking your mitochondria, you know the Nuclear power STATIONS in our muscles and other cells, back into business. Or the viruses out of them.

Or it might also be striking them with thousands of Volt and so basically burning all foreign visitors in your cells and body to charcoal.

A bit like a BBQ where the host didn’t know that we don’t like salmonella but we don’t like charcoaled meat either.

But anyway, don’t try this lightning yourself back into life thing I just mentioned, it might cure you but it might also kill you.

If you do want to spend your money, why not spend it on the ONE CLICK APPEAL to get some sense into our GOBSART Institute of feigned Excellence.

Or otherwise donate some to MERESEARCH and Dr Vance Spence and his team. Might not cure you now, but if you REALLY have ME, nor will all those wishy washy talky therapies.

Have a look at message 177, will give you some valuable insight into the mickey therapy before you spend hundreds of pounds on talking yourself back to ME.