Friday, April 1, 2011

Breaking news: Professor CBT has taken out insurance on his middle fingers

London, Wednesday: MRC's psychiatrist Professor CBT has taken out insurance on his middle fingers, as part of a comprehensive life and accident insurance plan designed to safeguard his career as a denial psychiatrist.

According to the MRC, Professor CBT's middle fingers, now covered for "five million" pounds, are "an essential part of his Pinocchio repertoire," as they allow the psychiatrist to express his opinions of his beloved ME/CFS patients, without having to go through the tedious business of swearing in the BMJ and other medical journals.

"The narrow range of functions performed by Professor CBT's middle fingers mean that it is essential these assets are protected," a MRC spokesman stated earlier today. "Not only do they allow him to exercise in an efficient manner, but they are also extremely useful for signalling who is controlling the Science Media Centre in the UK."

The fad of psychiatrists insuring unusual body parts is set to catch on further, though so far no company has been willing to cover Professor CBT's tongue, due to its high risk of damage incurred by thinking himself sick.

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