Having said that, news that the Top Gear test track lap record has just been smashed surprisingly has nothing to do with the TV show.
Frustrated at being denied the opportunity to prove itself on the programme, British sports car builder Ultima took things into its own hands and hired the track out. The result? A lap time to humble a Ferrari FXX.
A Ferrari FXX with Michael Schumacher at the wheel, no less, the seven-time world champion famously posting a 1min 10.7sec time in the track-only Enzo-derived mega Ferrari. So, what about the Ultima GTR720?
'Much has been written about the Insight, Honda’s new low-priced hybrid. We’ve been told how much carbon dioxide it produces, how its dashboard encourages frugal driving by glowing green when you’re easy on the throttle and how it is the dawn of all things. The beginning of days.
So far, though, you have not been told what it’s like as a car; as a tool for moving you, your friends and your things from place to place.
So here goes. It’s terrible. Biblically terrible. Possibly the worst new car money can buy. It’s the first car I’ve ever considered crashing into a tree, on purpose, so I didn’t have to drive it any more.......'
On Top Gear's Christmas special last night, an indignant Jeremy Clarkson insisted he didn't know anything about motorbikes when he was asked to drive one the length of Vietnam.
Good motoring, Vietnam! The watery tale of Top Gear trio's latest motoring challenge.
It was the ideal plan for a Top Gear special - Clarkson and Co racing through Vietnam in old bangers. Just one problem: they couldn't afford the cars. Presenter JAMES MAY tells us what happened next ...
By: Professor Bruce Charlton, Editor-in-Chief of Medical Hypotheses; Emeritus Professor of Public Policy at the University of California and Reader in Evolutionary Psychiatry at the University of Newcastle (UK).
"Although the classical ideal is that scientific theories are evaluated by a careful teasing-out of their internal logic and external implications, and checking whether these deductions and predictions are in-line-with old and new observations;
the fact that so many vague, dumb or incoherent scientific theories are apparently believed by so many scientists for so many years is suggestive that this ideal does not necessarily reflect real world practice.
In the real world it looks more like most scientists are quite willing to pursue wrong ideas for so long as they are rewarded with a better chance of achieving more grants, publications and status. The classic account has it that bogus theories should readily be demolished by sceptical (or jealous) competitor scientists.
However, in practice even the most conclusive ‘hatchet jobs’ may fail to kill, or even weaken, phoney hypotheses when they are backed-up with sufficient economic muscle in the form of lavish and sustained funding.
And when a branch of science based on phoney theories serves a useful but non-scientific purpose, it may be kept-going indefinitely by continuous transfusions of cash from those whose interests it serves.
If this happens, real science expires and a ‘zombie science’ evolves.
Zombie science is science that is dead but will not lie down. It keeps twitching and lumbering around so that (from a distance, and with your eyes half-closed) zombie science looks much like the real thing. But in fact the zombie has no life of its own; it is animated and moved only by the incessant pumping of funds.
If zombie science is not scientifically-useable – what is its function?
In a nutshell, zombie science is supported because it is useful propaganda to be deployed in arenas such as political rhetoric, public administration, management, public relations, marketing and the mass media generally.
It persuades, it constructs taboos, it buttresses some kind of rhetorical attempt to shape mass opinion.
Indeed, zombie science often comes across in the mass media as being more plausible than real science; and it is precisely the superficial face-plausibility which is the sole and sufficient purpose of zombie science."
“This is ‘enlightened self-interest’ a powerful factor in scientific evaluation because the primary criterion of the ‘validity’ of a theory is whether or not acting upon it will benefit the career of the scientist;
“Theories may become popular or even dominant purely because of their association with immediate incentives and despite their scientific weaknesses”.
If you want to read the whole article by Margaret Williams with a large number of more quotes from Professor Bruce Charlton and some utter silliness about CFS, for example comparing it with anorexia nervosa, whoch is what the CBT gang are planning, to give the idea that CFS is a psychiatric disease, now doesn’t that remind me of the way the RCGP went about their business and then later came back as dishonesty and misleading are not on the list of duties of a doctor as defined by the GMC.
But apparently psychiatrists are not ruled by the GMC nor have they sworn the Hippocratic oath…………
“it is precisely the superficial face-plausibility which is the sole and sufficient purpose of zombie science.”
And when he talks about the ‘enlightened self-interest’ which is a powerful factor in the world of CBT as we all bloody well know and by the way, is he actually talking about the the real Functional Bullshit Syndrome as defined by the doctors when they talked about Functional Symptoms in their ACNR article ??
And how would Mr Clarkson solve this problem? Well very simple actually, he would ….
Yes I know that I have used this picture before. But the last few days something amazing has happened. You see, first I was really annoyed, then I almost fell out of bed laughing as the CBT GANG had complained about my BLOG.
As you know, in this free and democratic world you are not allowed to express other thoughts and ideas than those based on silly CBT for neurological illnesses.
Why did I start laughing, well that is quite simple. As you all know I am and have been bedridden now with this delightful ME Chappie for years, but apparently I pose a threat to the CBT Millions.
By complaining they actually made my day. Because it means that I am right ....... Thanks guys.............
Oh, and maybe you like a proper session of CBT, by the Clarkman himself. A lot better than your CBT which is just as useful as watching the hairs grow on the face of a CBT fanatico .....
Today we will start with our latest learning module about CBT. And what better way to start than with a very simple and basic test to GET the young up and coming CBT fanatics into a NICE rhythm.
It won’t take long, and you will see, even professor CBT will need lesson ONE to GET something right.
The question is very simple, I will show you a short video and you as new born CBT fanaticos have to answer a simple question. No it is not about ME, as CBT people don’t know anything about that disease anyway.
As you might remember, knowledge slows the process down for them and their GOBSART friends. And in the case of CBT for ME that is porky telling money grabbing business.
And the longer it takes, the less money they earn for even beating the Clarkman when he uses the principles of CBT and entertains us by telling that a BMW M3 is using less fuel than a Toyota Prius, that is a car with a tiny, normal engine and an additional electric one with almost no horse power at all, and that car is running on diluted water or something …..
Anyway, well worth watching this short episode of TOP GEAR with Captain Slow, my hair is now slong I can sit on it, aka James May and the I will never drive a fast car and crash again Hammond little stylish fellow.
So here is just that video as an appetiser so to speak before we GET down to some serious business:
Now, when the following video starts, you will see a big fat Aussie V8 coming around the corner, but it looses a wheel.
No we won’t talk about false illness beliefs from the driver that he has lost something but that professor CBT denies it as he does with everything else…..
The question is pretty simple and straightforward. What happens to the wheel and how many sessions of CBT do you need to predict the right outcome of this video??
a. 12-16 b. 48 c. 93.3 d. 8,5 million
So just watch the video and give ME the right answer professor CBT and everybody else ….
Right, now that was easy wasn’t it?
You would never have guessed the outcome and given ME the right answer, just like professor CBT and his gang never get their diagnosis of ME, or CFS as he wants to call it, right.
If you don’t believe me than watch this space as I will show you something amazing, but it will take some time before it is ready.
Until then, good day and stay away from CBT fanaticos.
Shirley Clarkson, the mother of the famous JEREMY CLARKSON talking about her life, success and daughter with ME in The Times on June 8, 2008:
"Immaculately dressed, Bill kept the office spotless and bought lots of pretty ringbinders, notebooks and files. But he was useless. Instead of taking pressure off Eddie and me, he merely added to it.
Betty, our bookkeeper, was miffed at Bill's dusting (don't ask) and handed in her notice.
Eddie was laid up in bed suffering from a bad back.
Jeremy was wreaking havoc at Repton, his school;
and Joanna was home with her third bout of ME, sitting in a chair staring into space, hardly having the energy to breathe. (Don't ever let anyone tell you that ME is all in the mind. It's real, it's debilitating and it's frightening.) To top it all, the factory inspector was threatening to close us down because the magnetic catches on our stuffing machine didn't conform to health and safety specifications."
Now, welcome back everybody, if you are not bedbound with ME and you can still travel and tolerate everyday noises than there is a new revolutionary therapy on the market, available from the GOOD Old Beeb and professor C.B.T. is not allowed entrance for reasons I am not allowed to discuss as that would be harrassment but in short because he hasn't got a clue about ME.
"Watching Top Gear on a Sunday evening is one thing, but if you want the full experience, come and join Jeremy, Richard and James in our low-rent studio while they actually record the show", as they say on their site.
You get Mr Big Mouth Clarkson with Captain Slow thrown in for free and Hammond will do his best not to crash while you are there.....
At least that is what he has promised ME but you never know with him.
He is however before you think I don't like him the icing on the cake, the CBT on the psychiatrist and the petrol in the tank, but most of all he is the best dressed man on telly in Britain by a mile or so I am told.....
So go and watch him, get his enthusiasm and forget for a moment that the so called GOBSART FELLOWS and their good old buddies will not be there for starters, and research, peer reviewed by myself, has shown that BBC therapy is part of the Big programm of Graded Laughter Therapy and so the only available option and treatment with a chance of success for this shitty neuro disease that doesn't exist according to the malingering professor but which is destroying lives nevertheless.
So take my advise and go and see the boys. You might want to be there early because you won't see much of Captain Slow if you are at the back, his hair is mostly in the way.
I am told he is always stark naked but no one in the world will be able to tell with hair that has replaced his suit...
He is however funny, witty, sophisticated and most of all, he is the one and only JAMES MAY who will start off the programm by playing The Bohemian Rapsody and ends the programm with Another one bites the Dust with reference to the ONE CLICK APPEAL against the GOBSART FELLOWS, so thank you JAMES, much appreciated....... But you have to be there to fully appreciate the experience, it is that good......
A recording of Top Gear tends to start at around 2pm on the Wednesday before the show airs. Recording takes all afternoon, and people normally get to go home at around 7pm.
Yes really, they know they are that good and so much more effective that they have taken a lesson from the GOBSART PROFESSOR and called their site the APPLAUSE STORE ....
And for everybody who lives abroad, don't worry, the BBC Therapy will come to you as well as Jeremy, James and Richard have embraced the idea of the FA.
You see, in the every near future Arsenal will play Chelsea on the Mururoa Islands, Man U will play Bristol Rovers on the North Pole and Aston Villa and Liverpool will play each other on the moon. You see, the FA, the Football Association is very keen on the ELEVEN MILLION and some, so they want to expand and take the game away from their fan base...
And the BBC Top Gear team has just turned things around and want to do the opposite.
They know that their therapay is the only peer reviewed and scintifically proven ME treatment so they will come to us, porridged....
So good day and good mental health and stay away from CBT fans....
Last week Professor CBT and the CBT MAGIC WONDERLAND held their annual award ceremony for the best psychiatric fairytales and announced that the greatest story of the year was the ME guideline by the GOBSART Academy for completely ignoring all scientific evidence and believing every single silly word from the psychiatric poodles and other magnetic resonance coming from the area near the Thames and other psychiatric prisons.
You could immediately tell that one of the poodles, might also be one of the sheep, was actually some sort of MOD man who managed to loose 600,000 addresses and other valuable info from new would be soldiers who were willing to risk their life for a poodle who would than later say, if something happened to them, you were a traitor or no, no medical illness.
The ME fairytale would come in handy again.
First you start by denying it exists. Then you come up with a new definition, for something which isn’t there in the first place according to the delusional thinking part of the psycho brain, so a very intelligent proposition…..
Then you call it malingering again, so again you deny that what you say now existed actually didn’t exist, but then did, but then didn’t exist after all.
So the tombola is working overtime and the poodles are the only ones who can make sense out of this total nonsense….
The military cluster bombing has started you see, it doesn’t exist, it is malingering, false illness beliefs, laziness, exercise phobia, so really, in their own minds and words, they haven’t got a clue.
If you wanted to talk about any other disease you would only need one word, like Alzheimer’s or so, a bit like modern day warfare, where you would use precision and smart bombs if you know what you are talking about and doing and who you are after and so.
But the poodles have no clue, so back to cluster bombing the PWME. And that their silly therapies make us worse, well that is not their problem and they just call that collateral damage.
Because then it is not important or damaged you see…. Trick and treat learned from the military and used by our own poodles.
The same can be said from leaving out the ICD code for ME from the WHO and the fact that it is classified as a neurological illness.
Now we know why they did that, but it becomes a lot more interesting if you realise that ME patients are NOT allowed to donate BLOOD.
We might be passing on our malingeritis, or our CBT allergy, or our nasty GET cough: and again, the reason why this wasn’t mentioned by the GOBSART boys is clear, you would think that they have an obligation to inform the GP’s and other doctors as they are a so called Dependent Institute of Drowning at 48 feet of the coast.
But it is a bit like making cars exempt from certain taxes.
A few years ago they invented the rule that your car would be exempt if the engine was 1100 cc or less. So cars with small engine pollute less or something to that matter and that sounded quite smart and right for once.
Until you realised that even the Fiat Cinquecento didn’t fulfil this rule as its engine was 1106 cc. So 6 cc too much ….
In the end only 7 models made it yet almost no one bought those little sowing machines ….
Also called playmobil cars for grown ups, they can drive, sow and blow hot air into the stratosphere and as it isn’t much the politicians who themselves drive big fat cars don’t like them.
The politicians and GOBSART fellows said the rule was easy to use, good for the environment and educational well founded. And that’s lovely.
Very much like the ME guideline it is just ludicrous and not about ME at all just like the 1100 cc rule has nothing to do with people buying cars and stopping pollution……..
And I understand there is now a new rule made up by a political poodle that non polluting cars get bonuses, sounds great until you realise that they don’t exist. A bit like the psychiatric poodle and ME knowledge, they don’t ...
Exactly what these chocolate muffins wanted, pretend that you do something or know something about something yet the only interesting thing is your own bank account.
In that respect politics equals psychiatry, well the ones who have spend ther lifetime learning how to tell porkies and utter nonsense about well not clear actually about what and do not dare to contradict them as the blue or white vans will be on the way taking you into their GETanomo hospitals also called mental health prisons because you had the misfortune of falling ill with a neurological illness which was too difficult to deal with for the simple minds from the GOBSART Academy and their beer drinking buddies…
Anyway. Guess what. Immediately after the announcement was made by the GOBSART boys that they are on a promotional tour to promote Ignoring Clinical Evidence, as that GET's in the way, is awkward, a lot easier and it obviously slows the process down dramatically if you have to read it all, and so and it costs money that is better spend on going out with the lads from the GETanomo prisons.
Now half the nation’s GP’s rushed to the nearest store where they were drooling with exitement that this guidelines was endly there.
They had been having fantasies and other dreams about this, had been waiting months as you do when you wanted a ticket for the long awaited new Stones Album or the latest book from her Rowlingness about a boy who can fly and who dances around naked on Broadway.
Then they locked themselves up in a room for two weeks to read this fabtastc fairytale and then they would also dance around naked on Broadway singing the latest gospel from the poodles and other CBT tunes.
By the time they had read the manuscript or whatever you call it, all GP’s look like they have been smoking POT, it is that great, well to roll a joint with that is.
Yes I know, illegal and so, but after weeks of thinking, I haven’t come up with any other useful ness for this GOBSART Academy manuscript of poodles.
But if you have another idea, apart from reading evidence and rewriting the damn thing, please let me know, because I haven’t.
And then my BBC Therapist said it was time for my weekly session of Captain Slow as that is what his real name is. Some will call him James May, some will call him little Brian and some will just say he is our Queen. You know, that guitarist that used to help Freddie Mercury out.
You know that guy who sang, I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride it where I Like. Now I know that is against the GOBSART philosophy of exercise allergy and the funny thing is the less people like sports, the more they believe this exercise phobia they have got and are now portraying on us. Really interesting.
But Captain Slow said he was off to the no fly zone between East and West Germany, well the former area where the GOBSART boys still think there is an iron curtain.
They actually believe it existed, so be quiet, let them dream on. You might ask, what was he going to do there and the answer was simple. He was gathering evidence.
Yes, even at Top Gear they know how important that is and even how to do it. If a manufacturer says something they actually want to find out if it is true, so not the GOBSART mentality or the poodles who drink Thames water and after 12 sessions of CBT call it Mountain water or so, while they smoke their own articles, or snog them, I am not sure actually.
At this stage Captain Slow got the keys to a car, well it was more a rocket on wheels also called the Bugatti Viagra or something. It costs as much as Professor C.B.T. gets for selling porkpies; you can drive it, fly it and use it as a submarine and that all for that money.
No seriously.
It is however the one and only road car that can do more than 400 kilometres an hour, 407 or so to be precise. And Captain Slow got in. Now the good thing was, he didn’t need a helmet.
You see, he hasn’t been to a barber since he was three years old so by now his hair is a natural helmet and SHOEI, BELL and others from the special head gear industry are showing interest, and paying interest as well, to see how well his hare fairs against their special products.
That chin bloke from Germany used to use a different helmet, one from Mozart or Beethoven I think, and that one was so light that he once came in to the pits to ask if he was wearing his helmet or not.
Now dear old James won’t have that problem. He is well equipped, always and at every time of the day.
Anyway, from zero to one hundred took exactly one second, so just about long enough to blink you eye, from one hundred to two lasted double that so two seconds and by the time he was up to three hundred you and I would just have reached the end of the room.
Now remember he was and is and always will be Captain Slow yet here he was entering a point which most of us will never reach. He was now doing well over Three hundred and some say that he was shitting his pants, others say that he was thinking if this Bugatti was better than sex, but we know that he was really thinking of something else.
You see, in a few seconds he was doing four hundred kilometres an hour, and at this stage Captain Slow was faster than Mr Schumacher had ever travelled in his F1 car.
Amazing if you think about it, Captain Slow was beating Michael, the SEVEN times Formula One World Champion.
But you needed to remember that a Bugatti could only do this sort of speed for about 55 minutes because then he had two minutes too spare before a tyre blow-out would happen, and at that sort of speed that would be a no thank you.
A bit like leading a normal life in the nice and fast lane and then being stopped by a bloke called ME that causes a blow out of all your systems and your whole life has been smashed to pieces yet the poodles and quite a few others think this is the sort of thing we dream about, wish for it to happen, stuff of wet dreams and so.
And they are right, about wet in the meaning of tears, well you know what I mean. It is not the same as a Nice car, house, holiday, run or whatever.
But the poodles they are too busy counting their millions to have a clue about anything else really.
I would dearly love, at this point, to launch into a tirade against silly psychiatrists, and how their articles are poisoning the minds of our precious doctors.
But I won’t, you see I love them. I spend hours laughing silently about so much incompetence after graduating as a doctor; well I presume they did….
And then there is Captain Slow, he has a grin on his face when he gets out of the Viagra, he hasn’t crashed the damn thing as that is Hammond’s speciality and the Clarkman would not get near it as it is incredibly expensive, so you would think it is to his taste, however, he has to manually move the seat backwards and in a car of that price that won’t do for his Clarkness.
And you know what, he is right.
And then my session of BBC therapy is almost over, but not before James has mentioned that a normal car has one radiator yet this one needed TEN and the engineers needed special treatment as well as no F1 team could help with the aerodynamics as none of their cars drives at that sort of speed.
So they realised that they didn’t know it all, something you will never hear from the GOBSART POODLES, even if we all know that to be the case.
Of course, it would be nice if the ONE CLICK APPEAL would change that and maybe they will. Maybe some day a poodle will either wake up or GET ME himself and then realises that it is a shitty disease.
Yes a shitty disease, there is just no other word for it.
And now it is time for the last part of the BBC therapy, just watch and enjoy Captain Slow at his best……
But before that I will just mention a few other bloggers who are also using the Cool Blogging Therapy in their fight against all sorts of things like ME, cancer amongst other things.
If you want me to mention your blog as well, just let me know.
So and now it is time to let the Captain do the talking himself, he is funny, he is articulate, he is Mr ZZ-top himself, here is James May and his Viagra on wheels………….
As I write this sort of review of the year, the medical journals and newspapers have been full of stories of psychiatrists who are bored to death and so they have changed over to neurology. Or it might be that no one wanted them when they applied for a neurology post when they were young and now they are taking revenge.
On us, the patients.
They are sitting on a sofa, a fag in one hand, a beer on their desk and an enormous pile of apple reviewed papers, as the peers were on holiday, on their heads.
Their desks as we know are stacked with pound notes so where else would you leave two million and seventy five and a half article on a disease you wouldn’t recognise if it was sitting right in front of you as that is how good Albus Potter and his mates are at diagnosing ME. And in the next room, GET, also called Good Eerie Torture treatment is being delivered by physios who know even less about ME as their bosses the psychos.
So I would certainly be proud to be a psychiatric poodle as our London Correspondent calls them. No dear ME, that's the wrong word. I wouldn’t be proud. I would realise how stupid I was and how much of the countries resources I was wasting.
But you see, when I qualified the Hippocratic Oath was still a Hippocratic Oath whereas for the poodles it is the Hippocritic oath.
A small but not insignificant difference I fooly agree. And yes, they have ELEVEN MILLION in the bank and I don’t.
And Albus is not alone in his thinking and enjoying his egoistic joys. In fact, I am becoming increasingly concerned with the sheer number of psychiatric gnomes who have nothing better to do than to fool the world.
Earlier this week, 001/7, you know our master blaster of ME espionage went to the CBT MAGIC KINGDOM as he was getting bored out of his brain with not being a proper 007 anymore and with no improvements in therapy or diagnosis in the last fifty years for ME thanks to Albus Potter and his money eating and wasting therapies that are so popular with the powers that be that they were shelving their turkeys and were eating the same as they are treating us with, backed steam fried hot air.
Now I must say, maybe I need their help.
No not that utterly useless CBT thingy, no to GET my garden back to a NICE presentable one so that when I look out of my bed and see the garden I see a NICE one instead of one which is in a similar state as my body.
They are the magicians after all,so time for their trick and treat, or otherwise the ELEVEN MILLION might come in handy to ask a professional garden man or woman who knows their business which is very rare, not medium rare, in our ME world where the less you know the harder you shout and the more people tend to listen to you.
A very interesting phenomenon also called the psychiatric model of delusional Collusionism that you can admire on the catwalk of CBT wonderland and our beloved Albus Potter aka Professor C.B.T. will then talk you through all the creatures, or whatever the boys and girls on the catwalk wear, but don’t be surprised if he calls a pair of trousers a garment of loose threads just like his brain, or that he calls a girl in a see through blouse a psychiatric misfortune, or that the girl in the wide open blouse is called a model wearing a blouse that has missed its first three sessions of CBT otherwise it would have known that wearing a bra is a safety feature against drooling old psycho babblers.
Also known as Albus Hippotamus when he is repeating his CBT phrases that he uses at home when his kids spoil the jam on the floor, or when his wife accidentally calls him a lion in the midst of a romantic evening when she actually means a liar but that might ruin his once monthly Viagra moment.
Or when his neighbour is run over by his Potterness himself, when he forgets to use his glasses and runs over half his neighbourhood who are then admitted to hospital with false ideas that they have broken bones yet all they have are broken wrists and broken hips.
And they didn’t show up on the photo made by his camera that was designed before the industrial revolution hit the English shores yet is still fashionable in psycho land as it means that people have to sit still for a decade before you can take their picture so in the mean time they have no other option then to listen to utter CBT-ism and its nonsense that only psychiatric poodles can come up with.
It is that difficult and that silly.
Even portable lavatories are known to have more common sense.
You know the sort of lavatories I mean. Blocked before anyone can use them, a NICE flower and toilet paper in abundance on the wet floor and a psychiatrist from CBT wonderland who tells you that no, these places are immaculate and a joy of modern day life and we should enjoy them and celebrate the fact that we don’t have to dig a hole in the ground first as that is what Albus likes to do at home.
Digging holes and so that is.
You see, in that hole, no one will challenge his ideas and so he is king of his own hole. But don’t tell him that as that is called harassing an old and rare psychiatrist who is so happy to talk utter nonsense that even his plants are running a mile when they hear his car turn the corner.
One of his sons was so desperate that he started up youcbt and made a fortune and his daughter started to wlan the catwalks of the world in nothing more than a psychiatric suit her father uses when he is delivering his CBT service.
The trouble with the CBT church is that all its followers stay away, so even though they are happy to donate as much money as Albus demands so he can drive big fat cars and drink champagne, not only for breakfast but also to brush his teeth with, none of his devotees turns up at his CBT service for the simple fact that they know he is telling porkies………..
But how hard is it to be a psychiatrist and treat mental heath problems?
And how thick do you have to be to get it wrong and start seeing neurological ones yet you call them nuts or twix? Or whatever the flavour of the month is in Albus Potter CBT wonderland.
Now I recently read an article in a magazine that if you suffer from exercise phobia, with a tinge of falsifying illness beliefs and at the same time you adore your psychiatrist you will develop CFS as that is the only way in busy NHS land to be guaranteed access to magical mystery blokes who are so in demand that the next guest on Top Gear will not be Lewis Hamilton, The Stud, Naked people from Big Brother or the Eye brow man himself.
Even that block of Ice that became world champion as the boys from Steve McLaren hated each other so much that they forgot that up north in Lapland they can fly with their sleighs so driving an F1 car is a piece of cake and the result was that the iceman not only drove circles around anybody in F1 but he still had time to enjoy pole dancing while the rest was still trying to finish the Grand Prix.
He was that fast. No, the next guest on Top Gear will be the ELEVEN million pounds man, so about two or three times as much as whoever was the man of six million dollars in the past and he will talk so much rubbish that the Stig will finally have to take his helmet off, as it has not only become hotter than the sun inside his visor but also because he became so nauseous, that well, you understand what happened to the Stig who can spin and spin and spin cars and never ever gets dizzy yet five minutes next to Albus Potter in a car with three horsepower and listening to the first concerto in CBT minor and he was as sick as a fish.
Even in a swimming pool he never takes his helmet off yet this time he had no choice and he will never be the same again. Some even say that the Stig has emigrated to lap dancing land as he wanted to GET away from this Sick Soldier syndrome causing bloke ASAP.
Some even say that he has now taken up fishing in the Sahara; others think he might be dancing on grapes to produce the first Top Gear bottle of wine, yet the truth of the matter is that the Stig did something else.
You see, he is used to that May bloke who last went to a barber when he was three, he is used to that Hammond fellow that crashes anything that moves so he is only allowed to drive this:
And he is even used to the Clarkman who wets himself every time he hears a car that costs less than a Lambo will be tested on Top Gear and he is told that he has to drive it. But all that doesn’t compare to the experience of sitting next to Albus Potter and GET-ting five minutes of gruelling CBT.
Telling his Stigness that when the tyres were squeaking his ears had the signals wrong and their tyres crossed, that when he felt the back end of the car step out of line that was the same as people with ME harassing his Potterness by asking him questions about his so called knowledge about a disease he has never seen in his live and when the Stig mentioned that the idea of doing a lap was to drive as fast as you could, not to sit in May’s lap and whisper sweetness about his hair and so.
Now I know that being a Potter means business, just ask her Rowlingness who knows by now that her name is spelled H A R R Y instead of simply J K.
But the man from Potter wonderland would disagree and say that he is the one and only witch and that Harry is a pygmies of our imagination created by delusional minds thinking themselves ill with mental health problems that require emergency CBT as only used for people with malinger-itis also called CFS and ME by Albus Potter when he is sleepwalking in his desert also called dame blanche or was it dane edna??
You see this kind of behaviour as performed by Albus Potter on a daily base if you have the pleasure of falling ill with ME. It is utterly amazing how doctors and others who are supposed to have any form of intellect and common sense can utter so much nonsense as that will open the flood gates of pounds or whatever currency they use in that country.
In British CBT wonderland you are a lazy sod who suffers from exercise phobia which is cured by killing your brain cells by talking them into oblivion.
Yet their blood brothers in Holland who have discovered that people with ME have lost brain cells due to their disease claim that they can actually cure 70% so they are the real magicians as they can bring dead brain cells back to this world.
Any medical student knows that 3-4 minutes is critical for brain cells, any longer without oxygen and they are dead forever, yet these magicians from that cheese producing country can talk dead bran flakes back to live and the only reason why they came up with this utter nonsense is because they must have been smoking pot at the same time, otherwise they are in dire need of emergency CBT if they really believe their own nonsense…………
And that in a nuttershell is the beauty of psychiatry.
If you challenge their beliefs you are delusional and there is nothing you can do against a psychiatrist, there are no blood tests or scans that will show delusionism so you have no chance arguing with them just as we have no chance arguing with them about ME as that is plain and simple harassment of the worst kind.
And the only penalty for that is sixteen sessions of CBT by Albus Potter himself.
Anybody who is sentenced to that, God bless you ……….
If you're an ME bird who's just read something in the paper about how your yuppie flu is the greatest invention since sliced bread and that it is all your own fault for being alive, then it's really not difficult to find some really great info on the internet about this nice present they gave you on the way to school, work or in the bus.
The disease you have now is, in essence, an electric wheelchair without power, wheels and full of spikes in your SEAT and that is why many of us are enjoying these delightful pains.
We could obviously have chosen another and NICE’er disease but no, we were so fond of attention and the flu that this yuppie thing sounded to yummie to give a miss.
Some of us have actually tried a great many things to GET rid of this by going to that Chinese man for a take away, to the homeopath for some alcohol, or was it drops of molecules with a memory dropped in 50 odd percent of alcohol.
Many of us have even tried that delightful invention of the MAGIC WAND BRIGADE called CeeBeebies but even the Teletubbies couldn’t help us.
Some of us were so worried about this non existent illness that we even contemplated to see a psychiatrist to see if his magic wand, no you silly, not that one, would actually be magic at all and his special tea making CeeBeeTea would actually not only taste NICE but would also GET us our lives back.
Somewhere in London they have a big fat brewery where they turn frightful leaves into a special concoction that is on the black list of the CIA, the KGB and even the Olympic Committee and some say that you would be better of living on the North Pole in an Igloo than having to go through one session of drinking this ELEVEN million pound costing tea that is so useless unless you are a grumpy old bear who likes telling nonsense to the world and collecting money for fooling everybody until we wake up.
But he reckons that won’t happen in his lifetime.
Yes, I know you live in the UK where the roads are covered in psychiatric lies and malingering sort of reporters who have also turned their brains off as that is so much easier than thinking, hey wait a minute, these people were healthy, sporty and had a great life so why on earth would they make things up.
But no, if you are a modern day reporter you don’t think or ask critical questions, too much work and not enough time to go out for a beer or whatever else they do in reporter land apart from copying a professor who was appointed because no one else was available who could write fairytales in the name of medicine and psychiatry.
And trust me, it is amazing how many of these so called doctors have gone through med school and have become a non thinking money collecting consultant or GP.
Recently I read on ME Agenda that one of our beloved friends tends to thrive on covering up cover ups.
If you are interested you can find this cover up illness in the psychiatric handbook on page 3, or is that a special page in a newspaper, as it is part of the psychosomatic illnesses that only affect psychiatrists who have an internet allergy in combination with a brain that has gone on holiday to the south of wherever.
But eventually he will get an illness himself as that is the faith of all of us and how amazing it would be if he gets a doctor who doesn’t believe him as psychiatrists don’t fall ill.
No really that is the greatest thing of (mental) health land, as I have seen myself, as a doc you don’t fall ill, ever.
Now I must thank the good old Beeb as they have started to broadcast Top Gear, well the highlights in James May his hair I should say, and I have just seen that the slowest driver of the entire Universe got behind the wheel of a Bugatti Virus and went to East Germany to see what the iron curtain looked like.
And then he put the car into drive, used another key to turn the second engine on and ignite the ten radiators as his Mayness apparently collects so much heat in his hair that a normal car with only one radiator can’t cope.
Now before I start to get hate mail from the James May fan club, I must say that I really like the brother of the Queen Guitar man who has a similar sort of hair style.
Now rumour has it that James is so slow as he tends to play the guitar behind the wheel in an effort to beat his brother on his Bohemian Getsody solo but so far he has failed and so he has decided to let his hair grow until he either succeeds or that Hammond fellow doesn’t crash anymore.
Now he is a special sort of guy as well, he tried to drive an F1 car, you know the one from eyebrow man, yes that Alessi guy who became world champion twice in a rowing boat, and then got scared by a rookie who thinks that a Chevrolet with two horse power is a great car, and he needed eight starting efforts to drive the enormous distance I can walk in a day.
Yes, forty yards or so.
Amazingly he didn’t burn the clutch but some say he did burn his ego. But finally he did get going and he was actually driving along which is amazing if you think about it as he can’t look over the steering wheel.
Not even in an F1 car and they are build for blokes who are not taller than your average garden gnome as they are small, light and easy to store away in an F1 car.
Just ask Mr Adrian Newey who always makes his cars so small that the driver doesn’t fit. If you don’t believe me, just ask NIGELLA Mansell whose bum was so big that he couldn’t get into the McLaren a few years ago.
You might also say that Adrian forgot that the driver is the second most important part, after the car obviously.
And yes I know that Adrian Newey is so good, that they paid him Ten million bob for just his signature at the can factory that has now got four wheels on a can, a steering wheel and a big fat engine and goes so fast that the chin man had trouble getting his behind into that can.
The amazing thing is that DC is so lean that he can hide behind a pencil and still he is too fat. Well, according to one commentator that is, who had just finished his CBT sessions and so and had never seen DC in real life.
I mean, since that German chin man has disappeared down the OAP track, DC is the slimmest fittest and oldest bloke on the track yet if you look at his beard, or whatever you call it that grows on his chin these days, you would think that puberty has just started.
And it will be a sad day when he retires as he is a modern day racer with the great values of the old days and so he will never be champion as in the eye brow champion but he will be missed as he is one of the nice and honest blokes in F1 and he has stayed that way over his illustrious career and he is in that respect a nice example for the magic wanderers from the CBT Church how you could earn a lot of money and remain an honest and decent bloke at the same time.
Now to come back to that May bloke, I actually like him okay; he is sophisticated and reminds me of the Seventies and so.
So I presume that he will let his hair grow until I get better, now somehow that doesn’t seem like a good idea as even though I will get better, that is written in the stars I saw yesterday when looking in my CeeBeeTea cup, it might take a while and then his hair might get in the way when he is sitting next to the Clarkman when he is driving speedily away from magic wanderers when they want to enlighten his life with lies and make him give up his Lambo and change over to an electric car or even worse for him, a diesel.
And that would be bad news for car minded Britain.
Replacing his beloved petrol that keeps him alive is a bit like replacing my running shoes and other sports equipment for exercise phobia. It won't really work.
I've just been reading a few remarks about the monster of CBT-ness and apparently they are now thinking of turning him into a tourist attraction.
But I don’t know if we as the ME people could risk losing such a fantastic comedian who actually believes all his fairytales.
The day when he gets run over by a snail would be a day of misery for mankind. I must also say after reading some of his stuff, I learned something intriguing.
Contrary to popular myth, ME was not born while he was fantasising about greatness and an Oscar for Medicine or so.
It was born from viruses that attack fit and healthy people and then hijack their nuclear power stations and zap away all their energy and blow up their fuel cells and HQ’s so they become powerless, have a nerve center out of work and more niceness and so.
And here's something even more intriguing.
To get around the idea that we might actually be ill, he had to be so inventive that he had to use ordinary old fashioned hysteria books to come up with so much nonsense that people believe him just to stop him from talking and killing their brain cells with utter nonsense.
This, they say now, is the jolly trick of professor C.B.T. and that is why many people also, or I should say, prefer to call him Albus Potter who hasn’t come out of the closet yet.
We all know that he, or one of his replacements, at some stage will do so but by then he has destroyed more lives than many bloodthirsty dictators whose names I can’t spell or write down otherwise he will feel offended and so.
And then he starts to cry and I must say I hate crying psychiatrists.
As you may know, I do not like being ill very much. And nor do I care much about the wellbeing of Albus Potter and his CBT jolly good fellows and their reindeers.
They are big and old enough to be able to look after themselves very well indeed, as we all know, to our own detriment unfortunately.
So I was very pleased when NICE announced that they are going to let the public tell them what they think of their guidelines and so.
Not that they will do anything with it but it sounds very NICE and politically correct to give the public and the voters the idea that they care about us.
And then horrible visions of people in CBT lab coats kept me awake and I was sweating and getting just as scared as a cat on the way down from a sky scraper back to earth at dazzling speed, as I realised that this was another of their make belief songs soon to hit the charts and be presented by Albus Potter and his band, the Sweet CBT singing in Top of the Flops.
Songs like: Slow Motion about a Lollipop Man, shouting Funny Funny in Hell Raiser voices and then their Albus Potter alias Poppa Joe stands up and does the Teenage Rampage dance in a hell raiser pair of trouser while his Little Willy shouts Turn It Down and his companion at the GET instrument starts blowing the real CBT and GET song called The Lies in Your Eyes.
And before I wake up fully drenched I realise that those boys already knew in 1977 that this ME thing was the Stairway to the Stars for Albus and his mates when I heard that they also sang Call ME.
Now Albus forgot a few songs as well, one in particular named Turn it Down but even more importantly Give The lady Some Respect and that is the thing that fails time and again in malingering country and Albus Potter hood.
But watch him on youcbt and you will have a jolly good time, the only thing you would need is the patience of a saint to sit out his whole monologue that is so utterly boring and lacks any sense of reality that you know he must be a psychiatrist.
But I guess looking back at the history of medicine or any history at all is too much to ask from Albus as he might stumble across some hysterics who are still locked up in his closet dressed up as patients with MS.
And the worst part for Albus is that the real Albus Dumblemore is gay.
It took him six or seven books to come out of his closet, and how the Rowling lady could keep that a secret is utterly amazing as that is a mental health problem in Albus his DSM book that is falling to pieces just like his splendid theory about ME.
You see, if you read his stuff you realise that his nose starts to grow while he was writing it. And by the time you finish one of his books on so called ME his nose is as long as an elongated tent pole.
And even Alain Prost, you know that French bloke that couldn’t drive according to some, others preferred to call him the Professor as he could drive at incredible speeds and still think and so.
Something that real professors, like Albus, have a tremendous problem with.
I have tried to email him, that is Mr Prost, to see what he thinks of heading the Albus Potter academy but he is worried that if he wlans into that place his nose starts to grow automatically as there are so many lies stacked up in that place that it must be so contagious that his nose and his health would be at risk, just like yours and mine are with CBT and especially that silly tea called GeeEeeTea.
I think it is a special kind of brand grown on the hills of the Academy and then blasted with so much nonsense that the leaves come off the plants spontaneously, as they are in utter fear of Albus and his illustrious methods.
But I needn’t have worried, though, because it was only a dream and England and the High Court Judge will be embracing all aspects of the common sense revolution, based on many years of medical know how and information from patients who do have ME and not some Albus Potter concoction.
Like doctor Le Fanu said in his Newspaper, if patients are telling you amass that a therapy doesn’t work than you have to be utterly stupid and a CBT fanatic to continue your song that it works. I know patients don’t know anything in delusional minds and it seems that Albus and his mates really haven’t got the hang of ME or anything for that matter that involves using your brain.
Not surprising though as BRAINFOG is clearly a cloud that hangs over the Academy and the Kingdom of nothingness also know as the MAGIC CBT KINGDOM, a sort of knowledge free fairtrade centre in NHS land also known as a black hole of wisdom or hoover hole.
The hole is so big that instead of using their ELEVEN million on something useful it has disappeared without a trace.
You might say, but it will be spend on CBT and Get, well you might be right but that is the same as leaving it unattended for an hour and then coming back to discover it has been mickeled.
You see, while GET might destroy many lives, we also have the power according to NICE, yes, that was about the only sentence they got right in half their AMAZON land of paper, that we as ME patients decide if we do GET GET. So put simple, we can say no to CBT and GET and that should not affect our treatment nor Incapacity Benefits according to NICE.
The only people CBT and GET might work for are those who will benefit from reading an Asterix and Obelix and going to see their wizard and then when they drink his drink or put some parsely in their ears when the great singer from the CBT brotherhood of Potters starts to sing and that will cure them you know that they had a GP or other doctor who was as good at diagnosing ME as Albus Potter and his NICE brothers.
So if they had had a Potter GP, or is that a proper GP, they would have been diagnosed right many many years ago and long been cured and spared many miserable minutes, days, weeks, months and often years.
It is that simple.
Talking about those ME guidleines, they are so big, in fact, that they will now be used in the strongest man of the world contest as the final event to decide who is best at weightlifting heavy nonsense.
This is a guidelines that weighs more than most people’s houses, and the summary of the summary of the summary, meant for the doctors from the CBT academy who failed their literacy and other basic tests at school, weighs even more because they’ve taken out the few essential bits and replaced them with all the articles by the magic wand brigade so then someone might actually have a look at them before we use them here down under to start our Christmas Barbeques.
For those sorts of events guidelines that are of the utter ness of useless ness are really helpful to start of a NICE fire so your steak will just be right just like your Christmas.
So to all of you good day and maybe CBT might finally put some sense into Albus Potter and his mates.
Just keep on hoping, it happened after many many years of utter medical nonsense with many other diseases so it will happen with ME.
It is just a matter of time before we can bury Albus and his illustrious gang of uselessness.
And if you happen to have people around you who mutter at every occassion that you are a lazy bugger or whatever other utter nonsense they come up with, remember what The Sweet sang all those years ago:
“Don't you know I can see You ain't foolin' me I ain't blind The lies in your eyes don't disguise But the lies in your eyes.
You gotta big fat mouth watch what you say 'Cause sooner later you're gonna pay”
So enjoy a great song from many years ago and some great wisdom, so Albus, please pay attention for a change……..
As the nation settles down to watch the High Court rule against the GOBSART Academy, I sense an air of FALSE optimism in ME land. A feeling that all would be well.
I mean hey, The judge ruled against the ALZHEIMER people when everybody knew that NICE had just made a change to their guideline on a financial base only. It was that simple.
And then the JUDGE fell for their arguments, well, she fell for I don’t know what, but it can’t have been the arguments because all the evidence was for using the drugs in…
Ah, now I see what you mean about all the evidence and so, and we all know that the NICE boys are the boys of the National Institute to Ignore Clinical Evidence.
So what chance would we have when all the ME evidence has been buried under piles of CBT articles that are so bad, that you need at least a year of daily CBT before you are able to function as a human being again, if you would read them and see what sort of childish simple errors they make over and over and over again, let alone if you start looking for real medical evidence.
It is there, it is easy to find, yet it would not fit the idea of the government that CBT, which is a heck of a lot cheaper to use than trying to find a cure and a treatment that ACTUALLY WORKS.
But who cares, they are not the ones who are ill. These shoarmawarmy looking psycho fertilizers are basically power mad minions in a tank of sharks. They are afraid that they will be eaten alive so they have gone on the offensive instead so they are trying to beat us alive.
Or is it they are GET-ting us and trying to fry us so we stick to our beds and will never bother them in person again? Because that in a nuttershell is what the GOBSART guidelines have as an effect on people who have ME.
And yes, please try flying to the moon so you GET nearer to the God of Lightning and if he strikes a match and let the ball slip through his hands and that cures you than fantastico.
It is a bit like the Robinson and Carson therapy for Steve McLaren. It cured him of that horrible disease called the England manager’s job alias northern rock to kick against by any tabloid on the island.
And I agree, he was so daft to instruct his goalies, ignore all the evidence that we see on our TV screens on a weekly base that it is better if goalies pick up the ball and hold on to it.
But no, they had done group therapy CBT sessions to improve their perforations in their gloves, or is it performance enhancing drugs that CBT stuff, so illegal as can be than???
You sniff it, snort it, smoke it and then spit it out. Is that how it works and why it is so useless in ME?
Now come to think of it, is CBT not just another way of spelling Cannabis Blowing Treatment, or is that a misconception???
Hmmm.
Now I’m afraid we are going to lose against the GOBSART academy just because they have the power and we don’t. I looked at a video on youcbt and our beloved dense punters were mumbling their way through the ME song as if they were rehearsing for the eurovision song contest and thought that it was all a big joke.
And that is what ME is to these idiots. I have seached and searched and googled a lot, but there is simply no other word for people who have never seen a person with ME yet proclaim the most utter nonsense that is ruining our lives even more.
And then they say they are ME experts as well. And you know what, even lying down 24/7, because I am a lazy git, not motivated to do anything anymore, I would normally burst out laughing.
The only problem is that that makes too much noise, but if I wouldn’t pay attention to that and just focus on something else that wouldn’t be a problem, or so I am told. It is like telling a person with a broken leg, when his leg is not in plaster and you start kicking his leg over and over again, and when he complains you tell him he should focus on something else or try GET and CBT at the same time.
And at that moment I realise that too many others, who are all well, don’t give a damn about people with ME, and the simple reason is that they suffer from GOBSART DISM combined with a severe case of internet allergy as spread from mouth to mouth by CBT, very contagious and brain damaging stuff.
The prognosis is variable but in general not good as these people only care about themselves. Because they don’t know what ME is. And truth be told, they never will.
When I was healthy everything was crystal clear. I would learn in medical school that brainfog was something between England and France over the Channel so you couldn’t see the Frogs jumping around France on their way to a Chef and a hungry bloke who would eat its legs.
ME was the same, it was taken care off by the psycho brigade and people were locked up in GET Institutes and as a GP I have never seen anybody with ME. So really, it wasn’t out there and it didn’t exist.
And if it was on the radio or in a newspaper you would read about yuppie flu and well, they were working too hard, were after a shed load of money so they had a burn out really, a child could see that, let alone a doctor after ten years of medical training.
But the psycho babblers preferred Yuppie Flu as that gave it something denigrating, something malingering, something utterly desirable. At least in delusional minds.
If you would ask a doctor what is nice then leukaemia and a brain tumour are desirable diseases, yes really. No I didn’t make this up.
A recent study has shown this. Now in the time that I have been ill, we have lost two ex Rallye world Champions. One was Richard Burns, who was driving on the M4 on the way to the forests in Wales, yes, the RAC rally when he lost consciousness behind the wheel. And he had a brain tumour, he fought like a lion as he used to do in his rallye cars, but one and a half years later he was dead. And I am sure that Richard and his family have been thinking…….
What an idiots those docs.
Now, we recently lost Colin McRae, he went down in his helicopter. Unfortunately.
Worse, his 5 year old son and a friend were in there as well. Colin left his wife and 9 year old daughter behind. A sad day for his family, but I can assure you that doing it that way is a million times better than the way Richard Burns had to.
And even though we call a brain tumour a prestigious disease, and fibromyalgia a loser’s disease, or words to that effect, ME would have ranked along that same line if they would have asked about it.
And you know what, there are many ME patients who have moments when they would have preferred to have followed in Colin’s footsteps.
Yes I know, you are not allowed to say such things, well not allowed by people who are well and think this is a likeable disease. And no, it doesn’t mean that I am suicidal or that all others with ME are, but if it hasn’t crossed your mind, especially if you have been bedbound and dependant on others, after being a sporty and very active person all your lufe life, then I would say that is very remarkable.
I have also been asked if I will be better in six months or twelve months time. When I say I don’t know I am lazy, not motivated to GET better, and I like my situation or so I am told.
But worse of all, it is my fault if I am not better by then as apparently I don’t want to be well, I don’t want to put my ruining shoes back on and see if they still fit ME, I don’t want to work and I don’t want to GET away not only from this silly disease but most of all from these bloody idiots and their twisted and warped minds.
But the good news is, I know I will be back at work at some stage, the only thing I do not know is when that will be.
And that is frustrating as there is no tomorrow as my WLAN has ME days and quite a few people are using every opportunity when they see me to tell me that I am so lazy that even a snail would beat the world record on the 100m sprint, and when I ask them, I don’t anymore, waste of energy, what they base this on and what they know about ME, they are even vaguer than Albus Potter and his trillion articles about, well what are they actually about???
By then we might have saved the ME world from Cbtyranny, which sounds like some sort of Tyranosaurus and the sad thing is they are extinct, the good news is, the sooner we bin the CBT congregation for ME the better and I must say, I have lost count of the silly and insulting articles from these idiots who have a professorhood on their head.
Some whisper they even wear them in bed, some others say they use CBT as a form of medication against baldness and to trim their beards.
But those are only rumours, but 001/7, our master of Top Gear himself has assured me that these rumours are not far off the truth. I have even heard that this CBT-ism is so contagious that even Aston Martin has used it on their new DBS.
Now to a normal person that is an updated DB 9 which is about fifty kilos lighter and it is fifty thousand pounds more expensive, so every kilo less has cost a thousand pounds, cheap meat so to speak, it doesn’t like bumps, it is so hard that your fillings pop out if they hear the word DBS and the NICEst thing is still to come.
This Albus Potter and his mates have made so much money off ME hood that they have enough to buy these expensive cars. So on one of their trips to the showroom they used a bit of magic wand trickery. And just like the rest of the world they were so daft at this Eden factory that you can’t get a DBS with a key anymore, thanks to Albus Potter and his brotherhood of trickery, this is now called an EMOTIONAL CONTROL UNIT.
And if it doesn’t work, you GET six sessions of CBT as part of the DBS deal by the Aston people who were so delighted after having done these sessions themselves that they all bought a Reliant Robin.
The other thing I like about Albus Potter and his mates is that they say ME is just a bad case of malingeringitis, times ten as we with our brilliant minds, our superior technical know how can test anything and that is the beauty of all of this internet business. I have just received many thank you emails from Microsoft, Pharmaceutical industries, Intel, mobile phone makers, etc and they have assured me that they won’t invent anything anymore in the coming years simply because we now know it all so they won’t have to waste Trillions on research anymore.
It is that simple.
And if you think that your laptop or computer now is cheaper than ten years ago, or even one or two years ago but can more and can do it a lot faster, than you are wrong. Those are false computer and techno beliefs and that is why it is strictly forbidden in magical wand life to use the internet.
Let me tell you a secret, they don’t have cars, telephones or a fridge, they still live in caves and think that the earth is flat.
And even CBT doesn’t help against those beliefs, so then it must be realy serious as CBT can talk neuro diseases and dead cells and what have you back to normal, so it is really powerful stuff.
Bush and his buddies are actually really scared that that Iran fellow, you know that suicide man that sends others on missions which he doesn’t want to do himself, GETs hold of this CBT material and that is far worse than Nuclear energy or an H bomb.
So God help us if they do, because they won’t hold back just like the CBT blokes won’t hold back and use their brains for once.
I know, it would be a very new and stunning idea in their world and they don’t like new things as it will mean that we will finally realise that ME is such a debilatating illness and using CBT is not only utterly useles, it is dangerous as hell and has ruined many lives.
And if we won’t stop these CBT fanatics many more lives will be destroyed. Unfortunately it is that serious and dangerous.
But no one will acknowledge that their mates have missed the goal not by a yard or so, not even by miles davis but by galaxies. So hopefully this judge will not only be impartial but will read and use his or her common sense. I am just wondering, and I don’t know the answer to this question, who actually pays these High Court Judges and are they part of the GOBSART inner circle as well????
Maybe something for the London correspondent to find out once he is back from running away from the squirrels who asked him why on earth he has send Albus Potter their way as they were happy until hes showed up.
But since they expressed their feelings, our London man has done a runner, as far as his ME allows him, and so for now I wish him and you all the best and good day mates.
And stay out of reach of these CBT people who are actively recruiting to destroy more lives.
I do not like to be ill. At least that is what my brain tells me, but the psycho brigade, who have never seen ME, say I enjoy being one of the participants of the superglue contest and I have a very big chance of becoming Mr SUPERGLUE himself.
Actually, that’s not strictly accurate. I do like living in bed, no one to talk to, no tying up my laces or getting my running shoes dirty and having to clean them afterwards.......
No swimming as I am not very good at that anyway and no GP-ing as well, lets face it, that is just as boring as hell. All those patients who come to see you, talk to you, you solve their problems, and who in his right frame of mind would want that.
I GET lovely emails from people who have been to see their GP with ME to be told they are NUTS, the only thing I don’t understand from those emails is if the GP is talking about the patient or themselves.
Just a minority detail I agree.
And then there is the thing of reading Mr Clarkson’s hilarious articles about driving cars and testing them to the limit. Now I am a petrolhead and I know that is silly, probably one of the reasons why those little buggers got in my system as the white bloodcells couldn’t find them in the petrol that is running through my veins.
And there are quite a number of NICE cars out there, some I would actually like to drive, sorry, I hate driving cars, I prefer lying in bed so I don’t waste any petrol.
Yes, that must be it.
No wasting of petrol, no wasting of energy while out running, no getting wet from running in the rain and no sweaty shirts. Yes, that must be really it.
Now to come back to being ill with this suggestion by my GP who didn’t know how to spell ME either, it’s never happened before that I was ill.
And so far I have come to realise that it is the greatest invention on GOD’s planet.
I don’t have to count my money anymore, as I know there is none, I don’t have to think, will I go out for a meal, a rum, or will I visit some friends.
Quite a lot of the last have done a runner as this suggestion by the Magic wand brigade that we want to be ill is so contagious that you can even get it from reading about this disease on the internet.
I have double checked with Mr McAfee and his boys and they have no protection against this Ying and Yang virus or wriggly wurm either. And it is driving them insane.
Now as a GP I could earn a bob or two and drive the car I want, and the thing is, it is actually there for the taking if I would work, and so.
I might even go to see fast racing cars drinking in circles but maybe I am ill because this circle business is just ludicrous.
A bit like watching football. On the one side you try to kick the ball in the net yet on the other side if you do the same you are the greatest idiot on this planet.
And the same thing has happened with this disease, if it had done a runner and would have bypassed me I would still be fine.
Yet now I am …………
Now we all know that the Institute to cut budgets and make sure that people with diseases don’t GET the treatment they need, is being taken to court to learn how to use the internet.
The trouble is, they don’t have a server and a router and WLAN and so in the NHS. They have tried using pigeons, but these lazy birds have said, GET off my back you lot so it is logical that the GOBSART boys have only used what the magic wand brigade from professor Albus Potter and his friends have called evidence.
Last week I did a little experiment the magic wand way.
It is so simple, you see, everybody who emails me has ME.
So the conclusion from my evidence based trial is so simple, it is breathtaking and it will win me the Magic wand Prize of CBT-ness and a GET medal from the NHS.
You see, my trial has shown that everybody who can email has got ME so if you don’t know how to email you are FINE.
Just PACE yourself and all will be well.
So, all of you out there, you can do these GOBSART and magic wand trials as well. There is really nothing to it.
Peer reviewing is done by yourself, just like the editing, and publishing is just a matter of asking your friends to look left and rub their other eye.
It is that simple.
And then we have all the evidence that if you can email you have ME. I repeat the same trial over and over again, speak to doctors and reporters and tell them that it doesn’t matter anymore in modern day if you have a mental health problem or a physical illness.
If you need heart surgery we will ask the psychiatrist to do it and if you need lets say a new hip I am sure that the gynaecologist can do that when he is doing a smear, even if you are a bloke.
It is that simple.
So and now before we take the GOBSART fellows out for a day in the park, let me tell you about a simple and effective ME Guideline that one of the Dr Speedy supporters, that is to support me from needing to see a CBT gynaecologist that is, has send me.
It is that easy and that simple that you only need half an A4, so a small Audi, the new one that I can’t drive or go and see. And you can bin the one hundred plus document from the GOBBLERS that has got all the words muddles up.
1. Treat patients with respect and dignity. 2. Read new reseach findings and apply them. 3. Understand that you cannot homogenise people. 4. Employ new drug/treatment applications as (and when) they are proven to help.
That is all for now, good day and good mental health, and stay away from the magic wanders. And the same applies to any other therapy that is basically the same. If it cures you great but if by standing in the streaming rain with a nickel in your hand while waiting for Thor, the GOD of Thunder; to kick against something so we will see some light, you loose your suggestibily, than whoever diagnosed it was just as wrong as the magic wand brigade and their GOBSART loving friends about ME. And if we would have gotten the diagnosis right to begin with, you might have been better a long long time ago...........
