Thursday, October 18, 2007

GOOD DAY MATES



Yesterday I had one of those typical ME days. I knew there were things I forgot, but I couldn't think of what it was. The funny thing is, I tried to copy the headers of a few BLOGS but the only one I could save, is this one above, and it is just one of the BLOGS I wanted to mention but didn't. It is called: lombredemonombre.

I mentioned them, just for Mr NICE and his delusional friends, so they can stay at home, or in the GOBSART (Good Old Boys Sitting Around a Table) aquarium, and from the comfort of their lazy chairs, with the company of delusional friends, and a glass of OLD WINE in NEW GLASSES, see what life with ME is really like.

If you know other ME BLOGGERS, let ME know, and when I have the time etc I will mention them. I won't mention ME agenda , a HUMMINGBIRD ME GUIDE,
ME Free For All, trying to put all the pieces together and all those other great sites, when I talk about BLOGGERS with ME. Because everybody who knows anything about ME knows them anyway.

I didn't EVEN mention SIMON’S BLOG . Don't ask me why, sometimes I am just a typical bloke, no logic in my ways of thinking. NOW, don't you dare agree with ME, understood????

Anyway, a lot of us are having lots of extra trouble, on top of ME due to delusional psycho BLOKEYS. I got a few questions about CBT-itis. Well, in medical talk, itis means something like inflammation. So ARTHRITIS means inflammation of your joints, or tendinitis inflammation of a tendon.

We all know a tennis elbow, which is a tendinitis, can even happen if you have never payed the game of FEDERER. You can even GET it from KNITTING. But I don't know if Mr FEDERER is good at that as well.

CBT-itis though, is a HIGHLY contagious, flammable condition. The best advise is to stay away from those people. The problem is, it is a very controversial disease. We know it does exist, the trouble is, it only affects delusionists with abnormal ILLNESS BELIEFS.

The Insurance companies don't like these guys with CBT-itis either, because not only are they their medical advisers who have declared themselves ILL beyond any reasonable doubt.

But they have also started to BLOW, not MARIJUANA by the way, but so much HOT BAKED STEAM FRIED AIR into the atmosphere, that even in TOKYO and TEHERAN, people get mental breakdowns, when they inhale this highly explosive concoction.

So, you are warned, stay away from CBT-itis.

Now many scientists have been thinking about a cure, sorry, they have said it is not important to find a cure. You see, that is the trouble with a keyboard on my laptop with a thinking head, irritating as hell.

It is the same when I want to write something NICE about the GOBSART guidelines, my keyboard changes anything I type in automatically to ABYSMAL.

Even when I want to write that they managed to GET half a page or so right, out of one hundred and thirty or so, my keyboard changes that, sort of auto correction Mr LAPTOP has told me, to ABYSMAL.

Now and again it has a food mood, a good mood that is, so for example, when the TOP DOG is on holiday in far away land, my LAPTOP cheers up and even says hello when I enter the room.

Whereas usually people think that because I lie on the couch or in bed, that I haven't got a brain anymore. I know it doesn't work like it used to, but even I can answer simple questions like how are you today.

But apparently, that CBT-itis is such a nasty, chemical composure that it spreads via the Internet like a virus or so, or a TROJAN horse, whatever. But, I will deny as long as I live, that we should invest money, or investigate this horrible delusional disease.

Waste of money, stupid idea, why on earth would I want a sane, healthy psychiatrist roaming around LONDON???

I have been thinking long and hard about this one, and even though I actually know some NICE and pleasant psychiatrists, I can't seem to come up with an answer why on earth we should help these delusionists.

If you have the good fortune to go and see a psycho babbler, just ask him if eighty pounds is more than ELEVEN million, if he knows the answer, you might have found a good one, so hold on to him or her.

Otherwise, GOOD DAY MATES. Feels good though to write that down, because I know you have been waiting for me to do so. So, GOOD DAY MATES.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Dr Speedy,
Like yourself I take CBT-itis seriously . I have several patients with this illness. I would like to thank you for bringing this distressing and misunderstood condition to the publics attention.

I feel there may be a psychological element to this illness. I think deep down they just want to be loved. My patients with this truly awful illness always leave my office wimpering "But why don't they love me doctor?"

We may well be dealing with mass hysteria,
your concerned colleague
Prof Wisely

Cusp said...

Gee Dr Speedy,
Ta everso for the name-check and for copying my weird banner. I used to have a very tasteful one but then this one sort of looks more like I feel most of the time === blurry, out-of-it and weary.

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